Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Brent Everett Best Bottom



How to build a lasting relationship?

Build a lasting relationship is a difficult matter, usually an ideal start to the knowledge life is subject to verification. The Pursuit of Happyness, and our successful relationship imaginacjami often reduced to maintain eye to serious errors in the behavior of a partner, and even trying to get in conformist complacency to accept them, but really in the name of what? The curtain falls, leaving us one day to the sinister tales about how the lack of openness, the total self destruction, the reluctance to cultivate feelings have changed our common compound in the lonely journey of life on the rocky beach. Serious mistake to leave the course of events since the beginning of their fate, passion - dropping everything on purpose, our karma is a kind of convenient excuse for deceiving himself.


Involvement


endorse multiple behaviors to allow the other side of the development, realization of their potential. When it comes to accepting only the passion that is almost unconditional. If this constellation of strong emotions begins to disappear gradually, then we need to choose from - the continuation or oblivion. While maintaining positive relations with your partner when we make such decisions, thoughts, feelings and actions to transform the relationship of love in a lasting relationship and to maintain this relationship, despite the presence of various obstacles.

The friendly replaces passion commitment and intimacy, which is controlled, and sometimes reveal previously unknown to us elements of our relationships. It happens so that the passage of time prevents us from ever more diversity partner, his behavior as if from a different culture. Suddenly he comes to tensions in the common planes so far, we have increasing difficulty in understanding the procedure, sometimes suffer in silence, and is the best way to subsequent conflicts. Talking about what we feel is not a universal recipe for a successful relationship with another man, only to find a common ground is the beginning of the conceptual agreement. If we add constructively express their own opinions while maintaining individuality and the ability to carefully listen to the arguments the other side and suggest to them - then we create situations that bring positive change between us. In acknowledging the mistakes of others, let's not extreme, however, so if at the beginning knowledge of the notice minor disagreements and tripping partner, which we so quickly spoil the humor, which is to grow after years of status? not forget, after all, that what is normal for us, is not necessarily the same for others.


little communication

agreement if vanish, intimacy, and is only the attachment, sometimes we feel like a radical reform of the compound, preferably uprooting everything from the inside out. Such a serious phrase should not be behind a partner, however, if you have not noticed a problem in the relationship, and we have been reminded another matter of bad situations, then a radical change may even constitute a break up (assuming that it is not our goal). Let's try to analyze first, and then quietly and without too much pressure our plans to introduce a partner. Do not expect immediate results, moreover, the other side also needs time and peace to think about the whole situation. Problems arise when we want to change the behavior of a partner ... too much and too fast. There are simply too big a difference in their own image, in their beliefs about the world in it's own position - the only thing you can meet us under these conditions, the crisis.

When paralyzed by shyness ..

You stand before a crowd of people, all looking at you and you without nervousness and stage fright say exactly what you planned.

Everybody listen to you with admiration and curiosity ... and then you wake up and once again stressed out at the idea that you have today to arrange a few things from the office, and in the evening you have an appointment with new friends. Cheer up - shyness You can overcome!

You are now a grown woman, but still in situations where contact with other people you feel like a student at the blackboard. Whether you're just in a club with friends and get to know new people, you have to perform an important call - always accompanies you the same feeling: fear, embarrassment, embarrassment. You begin to shake their hands, doing the red, you sweat. It's nothing that you say does not mean that you have nothing to say, but so often find it hard to admit that you are ashamed and shy. Maybe it's time to deal with shyness and fully begin to enjoy life?

Why are you shy?

"That I am already," so I was born, "so I have character" - is not that translate to the anxiety caused by his shyness? If so, you need to know that you are making a fundamental error, as an excuse by factors unrelated to you, while shyness is not a gift of fate, but only acquisition, which got the during his lifetime. Time to believe in yourself, because you shyness once and for all beat. However, before you learn how to effectively fight you know exactly your opponent. Do you know so where does your paralyzing fear? Recall your childhood, it is likely that there is a problem. Although you are not missing anything, and your parents, you certainly much loved, shyness may stem precisely from the lack of praise and approval of parents. Always've tried to satisfy their unfulfilled ambitions, but so rarely felt that they were proud of you. This had an impact on your life, you try to be a perfectionist, you strive for perfection through what you're self-critical. Every little treat failure as a tragedy in life, you lack confidence in themselves. Among the new friends do not say anything, because probably some stupid rap. We believe that if you have something to say it with meaning, so that all were impressed. The vicious circle closes, and you feel bad in his skin. Do not give up, however, everything can change for the better and be the life of the party. Psychologists believe that Shyness can also derive from the mediation of interpersonal relations. Now if you want to ask what is going on in your friend does not tap say the door of her home, or not even call-just send a short text message, or send a message over the Internet. The important things are not talking about family, and just pour out their grievances on the Internet blog. The consequence of this is that we prefer to write rather than talk. A direct contact with another human being becomes for us the threshold, with which we can not cope.

intimidates shyness!

Apparently people are changing, so you and you can change for the better. Shyness is just the challenge that stood in your way and must be quickly overcome. Note that in this struggle is neither a tie nor defeat. If you take a competition-win! Timid person too much attention focused on what others think. It is important for them not only the opinion of the family, but even that belonging to the random people that you probably will never meet. Does their opinion matter? No! Not need to worry about what people say about us people who totally do not know us! Each person is unique and should remember this. Learn new behaviors and incorporates them into effect, overcoming shyness. Be determined. If you need to arrange something important, you go for a job interview or at the office, you could write the questions and issues that you raise. Stand before a mirror and say out loud what you'd like to say. In your mind do the simulation of events. Such an exercise will make you more self-confident, nothing about it and you'll forget aware of his words. When you feel that someone is trying to sell you, or you do not get interrupted! Do not speak softly, loudly expressed their needs, it's time to stop being afraid. Asking questions is no cause for shame. Start with simple exercises, ask a random person in an hour, passing smile for you man, when you buy something in addition to the usual "thank you" you can add something, or even talk about the weather. In social situations, does not hide his shyness. Did you know that shyness in women is often treated as an asset for men? Men subconsciously choose a woman, whom they can take care of, and causes of shyness are very protective instincts. When you give a speech there, you can at the very beginning coquettishly say "you're shy and you do not like such instances, but you have to admit that ..." It will make you drop the burden of presenting their shyness as you are. During a conversation in private, if you do not know what to say and not like dead silence, ask questions. To sustain the conversation and make the other person feels heard. Before every important meeting breathe deeply and tell yourself that you can handle. Believe in yourself and start thinking positively. Finally, optimism attracts good events. A practical exercise is to write on a piece of every situation that increases your anxiety. It is impossible to say "I'm shy", you must determine what your case is this shyness. Unsubscribe therefore situations - be it a conversation with your boss, dating, and even a meeting with a former colleague. Tame the with what you fear. Then write all your desires, it will be your goals and plans for the near future. You want to call a work colleague, who has long do you like? So I write this and realize, because who does not risk, it is not. An important step in combating shyness is putting a task. They are also the most stress on the sheet. Start with the easiest, let him first task will be talking on the phone with an old friend, then you can go to the "difficult" for example, commands, and ask for help from a random person in the end being in a new the company first start a topic. Tasks define itself and designate a date for their implementation. Small steps to the goal. If you set up for success - you win!
you're not alone

If you think only you have a problem with shyness you're wrong. Psychological studies show that "more than 77% of the study group claimed that they are or were shy at some time in their lives." Perhaps your friend that you consider to be the souls of the company and confident person who is shy, he can only effectively is a hide or skillfully the fighting. So do not be surprised if others think the same about you, it is possible that only you acknowledge myself as a shy person. If you want to change, you have to start working, just waiting will not do anything. Take action and be determined. Perseverance is the key to success. During the fight, remember that the most important thing is self-acceptance and the fact that you are shy also has the charm.

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